I’m sure that you can come up with a hundred reasons why Britain isn’t Great.
• The weather. Grey skies, continual drizzly rain, long winters, fogs, floods … you name it, the UK suffers from it! Still, at least it gives us something to talk about when there’s nothing left to say about EastEnders.
• The government. We might think that Mr Brown needs to exercise his brain a bit more, as well as his body. But really, who is there to replace him? Is there anybody in any of the political parties who we would want to lead the country? Perhaps we should try what the US has done in the past and put a film star or TV celebrity in charge. I’m sure that Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po would all love to take the job.
• The influx of “asylum seekers”. Walk into any pub in Britain and what is the first thing that you notice. (Well, after the fact that all the smokers are standing outside in the cold.) Everybody is complaining that the Britain is bursting at the seams with “asylum seekers”. No reasonable person wants to turn away a human being whose life is in serious danger through no fault of their own. But Britain is only a small country and it really can’t support many more. (Mind you, when all the British have finished moving overseas, there will be a lot more space available!)
• The cost of living. Believe it or not, the current weakness of the British Pound (2009) has actually brought the cost of many grocery items down. (If you’ve still got a job, and you can afford the petrol to drive to the hypermarket, you’re probably eating quite well.) But even now, the cost of living in the UK is still very high. Taxes, especially council tax, are crippling the finances of many UK residents.
• Gangs. It is often said that what happens in the US happens 10 years later in the UK. One of the bad things that the UK has imported from the US is the gang culture. Unfortunately, violence and aggressive behavior has been glamorized by the TV and film industries and by the (rap) music scene. (And what is it with these rap artists – why do they have to keep rubbing themselves all the time? If it’s that difficult for them to get it up, why don’t they go see a doctor? I’m told that Viagra works wonders.)
• Too much traffic. How long does it take you to drive to and from work each day? And do you get paid for that travelling time? I used to drive 90 minutes each way, Monday to Friday and, if there was an accident, or snow, that 90 minutes could stretch to 3 or 4 hours. And would I get a penny extra for struggling through all that chaos. No chance!
Too many cameras. Don’t we all just love Speed Cameras? (Oops, sorry officer – I forgot – they are now “Safety” Cameras.) How many of us actually believe that these cameras are for our benefit? Isn’t it strange that they seem to appear in all the places where the road is straight for miles and, after being stuck behind some huge truck (which is probably bringing another lot of “asylum seekers”) you have the first chance to overtake and get to work on time. In Bulgaria, you might be forgiven for mistaking the traffic police for ice-cream vans. Just remember, that lollipop he is offering you actually means “Stop”.
And let’s not forget the security cameras. You can’t walk around the town centre without appearing on somebody’s TV screen. I know that itch is driving you mad, but you’d better wait until you get home before you scratch it.
• Stress. Life in the UK is stressful and exhausting. As the cost of living increases, and the number of jobs decreases, people have to work in 2 jobs to keep out of debt. I used to have a half hour window in which to get washed, get dressed, put my makeup on and swig down half a cup of cold coffee. Now when I get out of bed in the morning, I can sit on the balcony with my coffee and watch the sun rise over the sea. I have time for a leisurely bath before breakfast and I still get more work done than I ever did when I lived in Britain.
So Where Am I?
I chose to move to Bulgaria. No, I’m not joking! Those of you who actually know that Bulgaria is a country (and I have been asked “Bulgaria, is that part of Germany?”) probably picture freezing winters and people in fur hats sneaking furtively out of their hovels. Wake up! This is the 21st Century and Bulgaria is part of the EU. Yes, there are still many ugly old soviet apartment blocks, and there is still a lot of poverty in the rural areas. But Bulgaria is a great place to live:
• Fabulous weather. The summers are hot, with clear blue skies and loads of brilliant sunshine. The winters here along the coast are short, with plenty of clear, sunny days and about 2 weeks of crisp, white snow per year.
• It’s got beautiful beaches with soft, pale sand and calm seas. Bulgaria is blessed with absolutely miles of stunning beaches and (unlike in Spain) you can always find a quiet spot where you can sunbathe, swim and eat your sand-covered sandwiches without being bothered by anybody else.
• Mountains with vast areas of forest. You can yodel to your heart’s content in the mountains – there are plenty of places where you won’t see another person for miles. And if you prefer somewhere with the buzz of lively chatter, try the famous ski resorts of Bansko, Borovets or Pamporovo. Fabulous ski pistes, cozy restaurants and bars and all the après-ski entertainment that you could want.
• A very low crime rate, with hardly any violent crime. No, Bulgaria is not full of people in dark glasses and black coats wandering around with shotguns! It’s full of people wearing dark glasses, but that’s only because there is so much sun. In all the time that I have been here I’ve never experienced any problems with ”Mafia”.
• Low cost of living. If you buy local goods, your weekly shop will be about one third to one half of that in the Britain. Annual property tax (the equivalent of council tax) is only about £25 to £50 per year! That leaves lots of money to spend on all the beautiful Bulgarian wine (which you can buy for around £1.50 a bottle – less if you don’t mind how it tastes).
• Markets that sell lots of fresh, organically-grown fruit and vegetables. There are strawberries here that are the size of plums in Britain. And have you ever seen a tomato the size of a grapefruit?
• Clear, unpolluted air: much less traffic and very little industry means the air is fresh and clean. In Britain you may never have realized how many stars there are in the sky. Gaze up at night in Bulgaria and be amazed.
• The pace of life is slower and much less stressful. The main stress that you will have is trying to learn how to slow down to the relaxed pace of life over here.
• People know their neighbours and look out for them. This really is a place where you can leave your front door open without any worries.
• You can receive your UK pension in Bulgaria. Because the UK is part of the EU, you will automatically receive any increases in the UK national pension. Of course, you can actually afford to live on your pension in Bulgaria. You’ll even be able to afford to buy a turkey with your “Christmas bonus” instead of a sparrow.
• There are lots of opportunities for people who want to run their own business. I decided to open an estate agency – www.appletreeproperties.co.uk – but there are many other opportunities in tourism, computing, teaching English, import and export, etc. If you want to work, there is work available in Bulgaria. If you want to retire and spend your days walking the dog, you can do it in style.
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